Soup of the Day: Shit Pea

I had this great desire for Soup of the Day. I don’t know what/who came over me. But I needed it. Hot in the bowl. White roll. Wide spoon. You get me?

I dragged myself on my belly from trendy café to sexy vend searching for it. But it was just dastard salads, chicken fillets and taramasalata, everywhere. I stepped out and all I could smell was disappointment.

Is this the end? Has all the excitement in the world dried up into a bitter Oxo Cube of shite? Should I Google it? Yes, I could get soup online. Yes, I could get it delivered, canned or chilled. Yes, I could boil a kettle and whack in some cuppa dust. But that’s not Soup of the Day, that’s just regular soup.

Favourite soups (in no particular order):
Pea & mint
Pea & ham
Lentil & pea
Ham salad
Horse chestnut
Spinach & briar
Hot & sour
Four bean & penis
Radiator keys & a cold hand-job

Why not watch this shit new video of me to make me feel better:

Violet Malice

Suck It and See