I bought some body mist the other day, for obvious reasons, I was smelling particularly fruity and didn’t have access to cleaning facilities. This bottled stuff is supposed to smell like ripe plums and electrical wiring, for that, and I quote, ‘unexpected and yet reassuring’ odour. Now, I’m pretty broad minded but what the hell?! What does that even mean? I haven’t been able to think about anything else since. Stepping in dog shit is unexpected and appalling. Catching a whiff of bacon and onions frying is reassuring, especially if you’re hungry. But what exactly is unexpected and yet reassuring, a lottery win or maybe food poisoning. I sniff myself and I am reassured.
Violet’s weekly (give or take) adult book review looks at a hairy hand grenade of a pocket rocket. The aim, as always, is to attempt to answer that stupid arse question: can a good book ever be as comforting as a good fuck?
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Book title: I’m For Hire: The Memoirs of a Prostitute
Author: Marie Therese
Introduction: Robert Kramer
Publisher of this edition: Brandon House
Copyright: © Brandon House 1966
First published: 1966
Cover image: Unknown
THE RAUNCH REVIEW: Violet’s Verdict
Quick synopsis: A French prostitute called Janet tells us all about her sexual activities with lots of different men and women, on both sides of the conflict. She finds herself flitting from pillar to post peddling her fleshy treats, pursued by lovers, pimps and the fats.
Title: Capitalism and the body collide, yeah. In a time when women had to do anything and everything to survive and thrive. That included a serious wedge of the filthy paper money stuff for a serious wedge up the arse by a power hungry cock swinging uniform with a fragile body hidden inside.
Cover image: Sultry lady plus French flag and a swastika. In other words French prostitute shags members of the Nazi party.
Best sentences in the book:
There was one who shot off while he was putting on his rubber.
And I still had a guy on my belly who hadn’t finished coming.
To get out of sleeping with him, I had a doctor fix me up with a paper saying I had something wrong with my plumbing and had to lay off for a while.
I had to suck him off, keep his gismo in my mouth, spit it back into his mouth, and wind up by poking the handle of a toothbrush up his asshole.
My cunt was numb.
Since he was a Nazi and kept yattering about that fuck-in-the-ass Hitler, I was afraid to ask him for dough.
Well, Suzanne goes to find some butter, sticks a wad in her pussy, calls the Pekinese and has him get down to work licking her clean.
The officer pulled him close and squeezed the kid’s head between his thighs and pushed it against his belly as if he were fucking him three feet deep in the mouth.
Since the old guy kept sticking his finger in her pussy to feel if there were any results, I had to keep spitting the whole time so the old shit-in-his-pants would think she was coming like a broken water main.
An old bucket-cunt veteran from the Rue Saint-Denis did her best to comfort me.
Whenever I was pregnant I’d haul out the scraper.
Overall sexual content: Disappointing and not in a good way.
The sex is briefly described and although there are some funny metaphors the writing lacks pizzazz. The premise promises a lot but fails to deliver any sort of satisfaction. It feels rushed and unfulfilling, which maybe is the point.
Overall conclusion: 4 out of 10.
Titillation station: I wanted her to fuck Hitler, but alas she doesn’t even get her teeth into a member of the Gestapo. She avoids high ranking officers. She fucks on both sides of the lines and doesn’t make much of it. She falls in love pretty quickly with her various pimps, which again is lazy and cliched. She fucks women for pleasure, which is promising, but all details are lacking.
Food for thought: I was hoping that this book would be a tour de force from a prostitute that laid out the Nazis, one by one. Took some power back. Trampled on some hard dicks in prick heels. I feel as though the historical context was just used to sucker in readers and that actually the content is poor and forgettable.
Uniforms are sexy. Power is sexy. Sadly. War is all about the abuse of power. Sex is about power. Paying for sex is about power. Maybe it would have been better written from the third person, as a voyeur to all that action.
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